I'm Dancing In The Rain

I was watching the movie, 'The Clique' the other night (don't ask me why), and there were a group of friends having a sleepover when one of the girls asked the other “which would you rather be…a friendless loser or have a bunch of friends that secretly hate you?”I never thought of people in that way, and this question really got me thinking of friendships. So before I answer that question for myself, this is what I came up with.....
In order to have friends, you have to be one! Friendship is one of the most precious gifts in life. Regardless of any situation, you should be able to trust your friends. Everyone makes mistakes and all friends have their battles but for the most part, friends should never hurt you. Lies and betrayals have no place in a lasting friendship. When you are someone's friend you should be honest with them and they should be able to be honest with you, even if that means they tell you something you might not want to hear. Confiding in friends should not be something that makes you wonder if your secrets are safe. Trusting your friend enough to ask about what you heard and know they will answer truthfully no matter how bad is a sure sign of trust, loyalty, and security.
Why is that so hard to do people????
So, to answer the question….I would rather be a friendless loser, I only say loser because that is the way the question was asked. I know that having good friends is an important staple in everyone’s life, but I also know that there are boundaries that you must set for yourself and not allow people to take advantage of you. I feel it’s important to teach this to my children as well. I don’t force friends upon my kids just because the weather is nice and they need someone to play with or because everyone else is playing outside. True lasting friendships begin at any age but prove themselves as the years pass. I feel that teaching my kids how to be a loyal friend will give them REAL friends in the end.
Just the other day at school Naty overheard two girls picking on one of her classmates and immediately jumped in front of the two girls and told them they were being very rude and that they should treat people the way that they wanted to be treated. She comforted her classmate and stayed with her to make sure that those mean girls left her alone. It makes me so proud to know as a parent that I am doing something right, to know that my kiddos have enough confidence in themselves to help others.
I stumbled across this famous quote one day and have lived by it ever since:
Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
It's about learning how to dance in the rain!!!!

I Love My Hole Famly

My girls are constantly sending me love letters. I post them on the fridge, give them a huge hug and let them know how special these notes make me feel. I have many and they are all over my house, you name the place and chances are, there is one there. With all of life's craziness that we get swept up in, sometimes I forget about it and move on to the next thing that we have to get done. When I have a quiet moment to reflect on these notes, I am so absolutely enthralled by the fact that MY little girls, the little girls that I still can't believe are mine, the little girls that I baked in my belly are writing notes to me and their dad about how much they love us.
The drawn picture that accompanies the letter is usually of our family together holding hands. Pictures of us out doing things, seeing places, whatever the situation, but it is always our family together with love written somewhere in the note.
During my pregnancy, I could only dream about receiving notes like these. I would always wonder how long it would take for my little angels to be able to articulate their feelings to me, much less write them down in a note. So, you can see why I have a hard time parting with them and why I have a box in the garage full. I will hoard these notes and cherish every single one of them because I know as each day passes the chances of getting another one diminishes.

It's Raining

I used to love rainy days. The feeling of snuggling up in bed or on the couch with a cup of whatever hot beverage I fancy at the moment and a good book, while outside all is wet and cold and miserable is such a luxurious one. Over the past few years, I've learned that it's the sunny days that energize me and make me want to get out and feel the air on my face. The sun energizes me and lifts my mood. But for whatever reason, I'm getting the old snuggly feeling from today's absolutely hideous weather. It's ugly, and gross, and will only leave puddles and slicks of mud all over the roads and sidewalks. And yet, I'm loving it. I've been happily hanging out at home with Mike. I think I'm going to finish my hot tea and go get warm and toasty in my bed, it's actually cold enough in here for once to make the blankets welcome and spend the afternoon finishing my shopaholic book. I can stay warm and busy and dry and happy all tucked up in my cozy home and pity the poor souls walking by my windows in the nastiness that is today.

Playing Games

My family is obsessed with games. We play card games, board games and car games all the time. Why I think every family should try to have game night:
Playing board games is a great way for kids and teens to develop social skills.
Playful competition can get rid of any tension in the family.
Games are a great way to get to know your child. Whether it is with actual get-to-know-you style games or just plain fun, you can learn what kind of character your child has.
You can teach values through board games. You can teach your kids about losing well, being honest and being a good sport while playing board games!
Great way to bond without having long serious talks
Games can be educational! Lots of word and math games can help develop good language skills.
Some of our favorite games are:
Candy Land & Chutes and Ladders: Ethan’s favorite. Playing these classic games bring back childhood memories.
Scene It: For kids who are movie buffs, this is awesome. They also have Disney Scene It, Seinfeld Scene It and Harry Potter Scene It.
Card Games: Uno is a very popular game for my family. Poker continues to be the Mike’s “guy’s thing” once a month. Pokeno, the mixture of bingo and poker and a fun game for a ladies night.
Scategories: This always gets us laughing and is good for all ages. This is a very popular game between me and my adult friends. The larger the group, the harder the laughs.
Pop Cranium: We love Cranium too, but this one is better for the myriad of ages in our family, plus it is Pictionary, Charades and word games all rolled into one.
Clue: Who doesn’t love a good game of mystery?
Scrabble: Another one that is great for word building, this is a classic great game to always have in the house.
Apples to Apples: I play this with my friends all the time because it is a great way to get to know each of your family members as a person. It also always gets some good laughs.

Our next game night is in a couple of weeks at a neighbor’s house. Game nights are intended to get friends together for a night of laughter, and I have managed to meet that goal. Laughter is the best medicine so take it from me, and go get playing!

Time for Mom

When I don’t get private time, it’s a problem. I am realizing more and more that I talk to do not take enough time and energy to take care of myself sometimes. I always put my needs last. I am guilty of running the kids around in my yoga pants and comfy T’s but….Hello!? If you do not take care of yourself, how do you expect to take care of others? Some parents end up begrudging other people because their own needs are never met.
So here are some tips I use to get what I like to call mommy-time:
1) Schedule It
This is very important. Make mommy time like an appointment, put it on the family calendar, your palm pilot and put up post-it notes. This should be your most important appointment of the week.
2) What Not To Do
Mommy time is not for catching up on filing, chores, phone calls or cleaning the garage. This should be something totally fun and rejuvenating. I always recommend making a not-to-do-list before the start of your time. This will make sure you do not ‘accidently’ start a ‘task.’
3) Leave Guilt at the Door
If you decide to schedule in your time, also decide to leave guilt behind. You deserve this, you are an awesome mother! If you are going to feel guilty afterwards then it is almost not worth taking the time at all, because the whole point is for you to relax.
4) Keep it Regular
Ok, so you did it…once. Make sure to do this at least once every two weeks…every week is even better! Also make sure if you have a busy spouse to help them find their time too.
Some moms think that an occasional outing with friends is unacceptable. What??! There is nothing wrong with putting on some make-up and getting all dolled up for an evening of adult conversation, laughter, and wine. In doing so, on a regular monthly basis, I feel happier and that doesn’t make me less of a mother, I think it makes me a better one!

The Road to Success

The road to success is not straight,
There is a curve, called failure
A loop called confusion
Speed bumps called friends
Red lights called enemies
Caution lights called Family
You will have flat tires called jobs
But if you have a spare, called Determination
An engine called Perseverance,
A driver called God
You will make it to a place called success.

Good Old Friends

Long distance between friends is tough, sometimes impossible, to stay in touch. Each year I get older I realize how tricky it is to find my tribe. I’ve got plenty of people around me and I am very thankful for their support and friendship but I find myself missing home and my old friends. Why is that? For one thing, my newer friends only know me as a mother. Most of my new friendships have been formed with kids as a foundation and people tend to posture a bit, to hide their truths for fear of being judged, when they’re with their kids. It doesn’t always feel safe to let your hair down, and I totally understand. But old friendships are easy. Old friends are like plants: they can withstand an enormous amount of neglect without dying on me.
I had a meet-up with two of my childhood friends last winter. We had an afternoon of lounging and an evening of cocktail sipping and reminiscing. Even though we rarely see each other and only sporadically talk on the phone. Life gets in the way. Even so, within 20 minutes of being back together with them I felt as if we had never been apart. The predominant feeling: ease. Just like old times. I was myself and so were they. Being with them was effortless.

Test Day Jitters

Tomorrow is the day for the Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills test, better known as the TAKS test. These tests are very high stakes for elementary school students - the children must pass this one test today in order to graduate to the next grade level. If they fail, they're doomed to repeat their grade, no matter how good they might do in school otherwise. (Actually, the students get 3 chances to pass.) My daughter and one of her cousins are taking the test this year, and they're both fretting over it. 3rd and 4th graders, are almost as nervous as college students at finals time. Sydney has studied all the content, done hundreds of problems, taken practice test after practice test. And now, it’s TAKS game day. Tonight, Mike and I sat Sydney down for a TAKS test pep talk. Of course, we know Sydney is a great reader and a straight A student but, when I started asking her about the big day, she broke down. She said that some kids in her class are betting on who will finish first. She felt very pressured and nervous. The mother in me wanted to hug her and tell her that she didn't have to take this silly test, but I knew that wasn't going to work. So I had to pull myself together and be the encouraging mother that I am. We played fun family games tonight (to get her mind off the test), she went to bed early to make sure she gets enough rest, I wrote her an encouraging letter that she will open in the morning and her lunch will have a special surprise to let her know that mom, dad, sister, and brother are thinking of her and are very proud. I didn't mind doing all these things for her but home schooling is sounding pretty good right about now. I am sure Sydney will do just fine but I will be nervous for her all day......hmmm, I wonder wher she gets it from.

Blooming with Love

There is nothing sweeter than a bouquet of flowers from Ethan. Tiny flower heads with stems far too small to put into any vase. Flowers that are usually called weeds by everyone except for Ethan who thinks that they are just beautiful, and so do I. He just melts my heart with those sweaty curls, chubby hands, and dimples you could fall into. Don’t even get me started on the eyelashes. So I look forward to Spring, because there will be many bouquets from my little man and I can't wait:)