Fall is here...finally

Today was the first day of fall. Not technically, but for me, it's that first time you wake up with a little chill and feel the urge to put your socks on as soon as you get out of bed. It's the first day you can turn off your AC and open all the windows.

I love it, knowing that there are no more 100+ degree days in my near future and that there will be a good solid month and a half of my favorite weather before it turns into those winter gloomy days.

There are so many things to love about fall... kids soccer games, the leaves changing, sweaters, hay rides, pumpkin picking, open windows and hot apple cider.

One of my absolute favorite things about fall is the use that I will get out of my crock pot and the pumpkin spice latte that will greet me every morning. I'm so glad it is finally here.

HAPPY FALL!

The night shift

Lots of people don't like working night shifts. It makes you nocturnal, you miss out everything because you're comatose in bed, and sometimes people mistake your pasty skin for really bad makeup. For me, it’s a love/hate relationship.

I love the night shift staff, I love the ability to sleep in until 11am and get away with it on any given day.

There are, however, some things that make me wonder if I'm a little bit jacked in the head from working all these nights. Like this morning. I came home after 2 nights in a row of night shifts (after being on days for over a year), and was seriously craving for some waffles. I was so tired and really want to go to bed...but those waffles needed to come first.

There I was, standing at the counter with my toaster oven trying to stay awake. I’m still in my scrubs, I need to shower…. I really should...I could...but I don't.

Finally, my waffles are done, I sit on the couch, put on last nights’ Real Housewives of New Jersey, and begin to chow. I don’t care that I still have my scrubs on nor do I care about what could be on them after a 12 hour shift in Labor & Delivery! I was hungry and tired.
I don’t even know at what point I fell asleep but I was awakened by the sound of the garbage trucks taking my trash.
And guess what? Yep, my lovely waffles are now stuck in my hair, on my face, and on my beautiful 12 hour worn scrubs. Somehow I managed to keep it from getting on the couch, what a relief!
It’s not until I look in the mirror and laugh, that I shrug my shoulders, throw my arms in the air and say whatever!
I'm full, ten minutes from a carb coma, gotta work again tonight, and I'm going to bed.

I love/hate night shift.

Foolish Pride

In the 12 years that I have been a mother, I've learned a lot about myself. I have discovered both good and bad characteristics. And while it may be hard to recognize my own flaws sometimes, it’s necessary for personal growth. How do you have a relationship with anyone, including yourself, if you cannot take responsibility for your wrong doings? This is precisely the problem I am struggle with sometimes……
I am stubborn when it comes to admitting when I'm wrong. I am the type of person that justifies my every action. After realizing this, I immediately get upset thinking about the many altercations I could have avoided if I had just apologized.
I realize that no one is perfect. No matter how much I try to be a good person and how good my intentions are, I am going to make mistakes. I need to embrace my mistakes and own up to them. I have to learn that my mistakes made me who I am today and will continue to mold me into the person I will become.
So, from this day forward, I will try my best to let go of my pride and humble myself because making errors and being in the wrong isn't necessarily a bad thing.
It, at times, can be a learning experience that can change me for the better.

Tassels to The Left......

I knew that my nursing degree, would be my most valued and hardest earned. During school, I worried a lot about working and going to school full time, and that I would miss out on time with my kids. I realize now that they were totally ready for whatever sacrifices they had to make. They wanted to see me in a job and career I liked. And as they approach college, it wasn't the worst thing in the world for them to see me getting a degree, and to see that sometimes you have to keep trying even when things don't go perfectly.
That middle shelf of books, has been my life for the past two years. Well, not completely.....I must say, the friends I made in the classroom and in clinicals were too. They will be lifetime friends. We will be following one another's career progress, and will definitely cross paths again.
These people who I studied with, commiserated with, cried with, sweated test scores with, people who came from every background and every age: we are forever bonded by this experience.
Those early red-eyed mornings, when coffee was just not doing the trick, another mess in the patients bed to clean, days we really missed our children, or those days when we felt like we did not know what the heck we were doing.....we got each other thru those crazy days! The best of times will be remembered too......the first time seeing a live birth, group lunches, squiggly neck hairs, getting all your meds administered on time......those are some good times.
But, as we say goodbye to the classroom, we open the door to a new life......can you believe we are nurses?!!!!
We all felt like this day would never get here and here we are!
CONGRATULATIONS, my dear classmates.....we made it!
I wish you luck in everything you do and wherever life takes you.

My cup runneth over

I am overwhelmed with emotions right now and I am going to attempt to put them into words so, here goes......

Yesterday, we felt the wonderful effects of a cold front that is traveling thru the north. And in the midst of the wonderful weather; last night my husband, kids, and friends hosted a congratulatory celebration in our neighborhood park for me. It was so nice to drive through my neighborhood and see people just casually enjoying the beautiful evening and also giving me hugs, presents, and congratulations. It is wonderful to know that I am surrounded by such caring people.

I didn't say very much because I knew I would cry. But I want to share what I wanted to say last night:

The last year has been the most difficult year of my life. At a time in my life when my cup seems to have so many holes in it, people around me just kept coming forward and pouring and pouring to fill it back up, when I felt at a loss. There were so many times that I wondered why I was in school so late in life. I know that it was my decision to start a family early and although I really enjoy being a mother, I felt the need to accomplish my life long goal of becoming a nurse. And I have painfully missed soccer games, school activities and birthday parties that I can never take back. Ours lives are filled with so many hard decisions these days. The emotional weight of it all has been wearing us down, but we can keep putting one foot in front of the other because we are surrounded by such loving friends and family.
Mike, kids, family, and friends: I have survived this year because of all of you. Thank you' doesn't seem like enough but I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

I don't know what I ever did to be worthy of such an outpouring of affection but it sustains me.

Thank you.