New Years Irresolution

I have discovered, over and over, that it is important for me not to go above and beyond the things that make me, me.  Over the years, I've tried to change, but the results have not changed.

Once a year, I decide that I'm ready to be a real, responsible, healthy adult and it always ends terribly for me. But, I try anyway.  I sit myself down and tell myself how I'm going to do this.  Schedules are drafted.  Day-planners are purchased.  I stock up on fancy food because I'm planning on converting my entire family into healthier eating habits. I put away my daily yoga pants and pull out my nice jeans, skirts, heels and button down shirts. Yes, I prepare for my new life like some people prepare for the apocalypse.

The first day or two of my plans usually goes okay.

For a little while, I actually feel all grown-up and healthy!  I strut around with my ‘dressy’ clothes, looking everyone in the eye with that  glance that says "look at ME, I’m dressed up and responsible….just look at all my fancy groceries.”

At some point, I start feeling self-congratulatory.

This is a mistake.  

I begin to feel like I've accomplished my goals. I lose a few pounds, my nails are done, my hair is perfect, and I feel really good about myself. It's like I think a lifestyle change is something that can be earned like a trophy in one epic burst of effort and then coveted for the rest of my life.  

What usually ends up happening is that I completely wear myself out. Thinking that I've earned it, I give myself permission to slack off for a while. My fancy shoes, give m blisters (oh, how I miss my flip flops). I break out from wearing make-up everyday, and I get really tired of cooking every night!

Is it really that bad, if I wear my holed jeans while I run my errands? I’ll make sure to flat iron my hair and put on some lip gloss, this is acceptable, right? 

Well, I end up needing to take more recovery time than usual and this is when it all starts….

The longer I procrastinate, put on my yoga pants, and allow myself to drive thru Chic-fil-a for dinner, only leads to more and more irresolution.  

At some point in this endlessly spiraling disaster, I am forced to throw all of my energy into starting over again, just to dig myself out of the pit I've fallen into. The problem is that I start over, already burnt out from the last round. I won’t allow myself to fail. But,I do because it always ends the same way.  

And then I rebel.  

yummmm!

So, I’ve come to a new yearly resolution…..Do more of what makes me happy, fly by the seat of my pants, and laugh more! I’ll never fail at this one. 

Happy New Year, family and friends! 

A Wild Pair

I'll start off by saying that I am such a plane Jane when it comes to clothes. I try really hard to spruce up my wardrobe but mostly find my comfort in solid T's, hoodies, and yoga pants, that is when I am not wearing solid colored scrubs to work. I feel like such a rebel when I wear funky patterned socks with my scrubs....haha! I know, I am pathetic and I will get to the point now.....
Last week, the inside heel on one of my solid black, nicely worn in Dansko clogs broke (yes, I wear those silly nurses clogs....and not only to work). I tried for a few days to keep wearing them but it got to the point where it actually was painful.
Anyhow, I knew that if I took them back to Nordstrom, I could replace them. My first intention was to exchange them for another solid black pair but, being that I am trying to venture out of my comfort zone...I decided that I should order a funky pair like some of the nurses that I work with. I kept going back and forth with getting another black pair but, after almost an hour in Nordstrom I finally picked a  blue/black marbled pair and went with it. Not very funky but definitely a step in the right direction.

My size was not in stock so I had to place an order and wait for them to be shipped. Ughhh!
I don't usually order shoes online but being that I had already seen them in person and tried on another pair in my size at the store, what could go wrong???!


After three days of checking the mail...they came!

OH NO!!!! What is this?! So, NOT what I ordered! Is this a true sign that I need to be more adventurous? Can my personality pull these off? I tried them on.....nope, not liking them at all.

Back to Nordstrom they go and back to basic black I go! :(

My First 5K

Let me start off by saying that I am surrounded by active runners and athletes.  I live in prime runners community. When I first moved into my neighborhood, I wondered what all those water coolers were doing on the benches that surrounded my neighboring communities. At any time during the day, my commute down Stonebridge Drive has runners of all ages and all paces. I kept reading facebook posts of people posting their 'time' and training for their next race (because they do this all the time….oh whatever!). I got a little jealous, to say the least and finally put my mind to it and decided to sign up for the Hot Chocolate Dallas race with my oldest daughter, Sydney. I didn't even know how to get started so I just continued to work out and add running into my workouts.

When I first started running (or attempted to run, rather), I read people's running stories….thinking how that didn’t interest me and I didn’t see myself ever officially running a race. But the more I read and the more posts I saw on facebook, the more I became interested and wondered if that was something I could actually do. I've been on a health kick since boot camp, so I was looking for a way to keep in shape and get the same energy and strong legs, for that matter, that all my running friends have!

As Sydney and I ran each week, I experienced some easy days, but also harder days. Becoming frustrated is simply an understatement on how I felt at times….even 3 days before race day I didn’t think I could do it.  The more I huffed and puffed and ended up walking more than running, the more I thought “what in the world am I thinking?” or “there is no way I can do this”. The more this happened the angrier at myself and at running itself I became.  It seemed I could hit the 2 mile mark and simply give out and have to stop and walk. I wanted to run a 5K, not walk it. And that was what I was determined to do. As far as “training” for my first 5K, I’m not sure if that’s what I should call it. I mean, it sounds so official-like…but, I’m just a girl who runs….with her kids….on a paved road…thru neighborhoods. I’ve never called myself a runner before and it seems to me that I’m just running a 5K; it’s not like it’s a marathon or anything like that.

On race day....I was freaking out!!!! Again, thoughts flooded my mind, seriously, I had never run in front of anybody, what if I fall? What if I can't finish the race? What am I doing this for...on this freezing cold morning?' Okay, breathe….I had a plan and I would stick with it. Race was to begin at 8:00 and we wanted to arrive by 7. I had picked up my race packet two days before. I had my clothes laid out and my alarm was set for 5:00.  I wanted plenty of time for my morning coffee and breakfast: my anytime snack of peanut butter toast with a sliced banana. It’s filling and full of protein and carbs...it's just what I needed! As we took to the starting line,  I was already breathing heavy and trying to calm myself down and focus. Slow and steady wins the became my mantra.  I repeated it over and over to myself.  I looked over at Sydney, gave her a hug, and wished her a good race. And so we began.

As everybody quickly ran out of site, I tried to keep my pace steady and stay focused.  It wasn’t long before I began to pass other runners who were starting to slow down.  I soon began to tune all of that out and just concentrate on my own pace and remember that I was doing this for me and for me only. The first mile actually went pretty smoothly.  My pace was steady and I felt good.  I was having fun. The second mile, I slowed down abit, but tried to keep my pace steady. I was fearful of tiring too quickly and I seriously wanted to run across that finish line! By the third mile, the adrenaline kicked in even more and my pace became faster. Did I mention that Sydney was way ahead of me and out of my sight at this point. My official time was 41 min 11 seconds…slow compared to others, but it was actually a personal best for me. I feel pretty good about my finish. I know this is all pretty silly and sounds like I should have been preparing for and running a marathon, but I suppose to me, in my little neck of the woods, it was. And now, I can say I DID IT!!!

I can do this!!!!

I have been blessed with the ability to juggle the things in life that matter to me. Yes, it is possible to be a working mother, soccer mom, PTA mom, domestic housewife (yes, I clean my own house) and still have a social life. One of the things I struggle with most, is guilt. I think that having a job outside the home adds another layer to the guilt that every mom feels.
 I have really struggled with is finding a true mentor in my current work place - someone who I look at and think that I want to be exactly like her. In the field of nursing, that can be quite challenging but, at least I do know the type of woman that I want to be...she's not perfect, but she works hard. She is a good nurse, wife and mother. She honors the Lord in all she does and raises her kids with dignity and love. All of this comes with sacrifice.
I find it quite comical that people often approach me and ask me ‘how I do it all?’ I find it funny because a lot of people see the ‘calm, cool, collected’ me that has it all together when it comes to balancing motherhood and being a somewhat workaholic. How can people think that I do this so easily? Only my husband sees some of the frantic episodes that occur more frequently than you think. So I'm going to burst your bubble...I can’t always ‘do it all’, but instead I have found what works for me. Fulfilling my dreams to become a nurse came with many sacrifices. Some sacrifices were not a big deal and others were painful.
 How did I become OK with that you might ask? A lot of prayer! I am the first to admit that I can be one of the world's worst about taking things into my own hands instead of waiting for God's direction. I recently had one of these times...I leaned heavily on my own abilities and ended up frustrated. I did finally come to a point where I came on my knees to God, asking for his path for my life. I'll admit that the answer I got wasn't exactly what I expected, but God granted me with a true peace about it.
So when you see me working double shifts, getting up for boot camp at 0500am, volunteering at the kids school and rushing home to have dinner with my family…know that I am grateful for every minute of it.

How To Be Cool In A Minivan

It wasn’t until I traded in my minivan for the big SUV that I kept hearing people say….they will never, ever drive a minivan. Secretly, it was the single best decision we’ve made since the birth of our three children. Well crap, after 10 minivan driving years, I felt the same way and upgraded to a large SUV but, sad to say that I miss it.
Before the big SUV: there I was, lined up in the school parking lot, alarms going off, automatic doors opening … anything I could do to locate my silver dodge caravan in a line of 20 others just like it. But I loved it. The convenience, the leg room and all the ‘happy’ kid features.

When I had my van, it’s true…I felt like such a “MOM” but I was proud of that. My kiddos needed the room for all their sports equipment, folding chairs, and many different toys. I can’t even tell you how much I miss the trunk that keeps groceries from rolling all over the back seat. It could be the next best thing to sleeping in late or getting all the laundry done.

I realized that it is NOT the minivan itself rather than some of us mommy-van drivers that have given it such a bad name.
So, in honor of my minivan and other minivan mommys out there, I have come up with some things, that can help the ‘coolness’ of the minivan come back.
1. Get a sunroof, if you can. They automatically make the van more appealing….at least for the driver. 2. A van, car, SUV…whatever….please stop putting stickers on the car, including “My kid is an honor roll student,” the acronym stickers with black letters on the white oval to indicate your favorite beach or school, or the sport stickers—including, but not limited to the ones that look like a ball has broken your window and you chose to leave it there.
3. Keep your van clean, nothing is worse than opening that sliding door and having juice cups, snacks and toys fall out…yep I’m guilty of that one.
4. Under no circumstances is it ok to sing and dance to loud music in the van…so not cool. I’m guilty of that one too! Heehee
5. Do anything you can to have date night with your husband, or a girls’ night with friends, and NOT drive the van. Your cool factor goes right out the window when you step out of the minivan with your new hairdo and high heels.

That being said, it doesn’t matter what you drive. Any car can be cool if you want it to be. A minivan is a minivan no matter how often they change the body style or come out with new colors….and if you ever have the chance to own one, you would see why they are sooo cool!

No meat, no problem

Over the years of celebrating the Lenten season, I have found ways to be creative with Friday night dinners.
At first, the thought of not eating meat was crazy.....how was I supposed to make dinner without meat? let alone all meals of the day and keep my kids satisfied.
But, I think I have mastered it.
My kids have remembered not to eat meat all on their own and they look forward to some creative but, very common meals such as pancakes, vegetable lasagna, and shrimp kabobs.
One of our favorite Friday night dinners is plain ole' cheese pizza. Although, pizza is already a Friday night tradition it is nice to see my family happily give up pepperoni and sausage. The kids have even picked it off their pizza at school.
Pinterest has been wonderful this year with helping me plan some of these meals that it has become a regular Friday occurrence.

Something that I thought was so difficult has become a great experience.

Big House......Clean House

I was always one of those people that said "the bigger the house, the more to clean" but, I was wrong.
A year and a half ago, our family moved, again. I never would have imagined having a 3,000+ square foot house for half the price of what we sold our 1,700sf, 15 year old fixer upper in Fla. so, six years ago, we jumped at the opportunity to get the biggest house we could find. HUGE mistake.
So, we moved……but, somehow I managed to gain two extra bathrooms, an extra bedroom, and an enormous yard. Although, the neighborhood, schools, yard, and front porch was just what we were looking for, one problem still remained…..How am I going to keep this house clean?
While I love the idea of a clean house, I’d rather spend the day sewing, chatting on Facebook or searching Pinterst than start cleaning my bathrooms……all five of them!
So, how did I do it???

I made myself a schedule.....Daily, Weekly, and Monthly.

Daily:
Morning:
Laundry
Make beds
Dishes
Vacuum

Evening:
Wipe down counters/toilets in bathrooms
Dishes/Counters/Kitchen table/Stove
Vacuum/sweep & mop floors
Put away toys, mail, etc.
Dining room table cleared and cleaned

Weekly (i try to spend less than an hour on these)
Monday: living room/play room clean and dust
Tuesday: run errands/grocery shopping, de clutter pantry
Wednesday: Kitchen: clean oven, microwave, fridge
Thursday: clean bathrooms/ showers/bedrooms/closets
Fridays: Catch up on any chores not done
Saturday: Clean out purse and car/plan my coupon and grocery lists

Monthly:
Dust blinds
Wash windows
Yard work
Baseboards
Reorganize closets

I am somewhat of a natural housekeeper anyway, but I have three active children and a nursing career, and I refuse to spend my days cleaning. There are lots of great advice out there and I was determined to be one of those moms that could keep a clean house in less than an hour a day. I’ve read books and taken suggestions from Pinterest to get myself to a happy medium and decided to see how much I could get done in 60 min. It was a struggle in the beginning. I was so happy today, to be getting it done before the timer went off.
I do have to give credit where credit is due: I say a prayer daily to keep me focused on being a good mom and housekeeper. And I can’t do it without the constant help from my wonderful husband and children for helping me daily by picking up after themselves.

Getting My Craft On

Although, I started planning Valentines Day projects in January….here I am procrastinating on the night before the big Valentines party at school.
I spent numerous trips to the craft store and many hours on Pinterest looking for cool ideas.
Here is a recap of my crafty valentine’s.

Here, I made a custom wrapper, using Stampin' Up Unfrogettable stamp set, to cover a teachers favorite candy bar:

I used a blender pen with old olive, pixie pink, and chocolate chip Stampin' Up ink to decorate the frog. When I was finished, I cut out each item and glued googly eyes to add character.

For another teacher, a fellow Starbucks addict (like myself) I got a Starbucks gift card and a 'buy one get one free' coupon that the baristas were handing out. She also loves junior mints so, I filled a valentines treat bag with junior mints and included an 'I Dig You' valentine tag.

I found these cute magnet guitar valentines at the store and picked up some small pop rocks candy at the party store. I think they look so cute!

My biggest challenge was making Ethan's valentine box.

He wanted a Florida Gator football themed one and I hunted down all these items to make it for him. I found mod podge, football beads, alligators, UF fabric, football field and grass scrapbook paper at Joanne's fabric store. I found football the cake toppers at Party City to make this box.

Here is his completed Valentine box and he loves it.

I Dig You

I think that my kids are taking after my crafty side (thank goodness)!

For this Valentines Day, the kids asked me if they could make their own Valentines Day Gifts. I happily agreed hat it was a great idea. At the kids ages now (12, 10, & 8) it is pretty hard to come up with Valentine cards that are age appropriate so I turned to my good friend, Pinterest, for suggestions......this is what we all fell in love with:
I quickly searched for everything I needed to make these cute Valentines.

All the information can be found here.

I enjoyed making these with my kids but, I seemed to do most of the work.....I didn't mind at all, though.

Thirty Five

Today I turn 35!
I wanted to forget that it was my birthday. At this crazy time of year, when starting New Years resolutions and doing our taxes, it’s easy to forget but, sadly I was reminded when I rolled out of bed with a sore back and tension headache.
So, I did what any other ‘feeling old’ person would do…I put on a cute outfit (which included heels) and went out for the day. Ok, so it was just to the grocery store but, regardless, it was out! And I looked cute! I had to make sure to get a bottle of wine and some Motrin for my now throbbing feet.
Throughout the day, I did what I always do on my birthday…..talked to mom, got a haircut, bought something for myself, and tried to relax. And, I did.
It made me look back at the last few years of my life that have been such a roller coaster ride. My last big birthday was when I turned thirty. I had just moved to Texas and flew home (to Florida) to spend the big 3-0 with my family and some really good friends because I remember being homesick. I was new to Texas and although adjusting well, I didn’t know many people.
WOW! How things have changed in five short years:
Since then I have adjusted to Texas weather, learned to like boots and talk slow, became a fan of sweet iced tea, met some really nice people, became an RN, started my youngest in school, and finally found a nice neighborhood to really make this my happy home.
So, as I accept this age gracefully, I look at another year of accomplishments, blessed with new and exciting things. I’m happy to be 35 and I’m in good company too: Rachel McAdams, Reese Witherspoon, and Ryan Reynolds are all here with me ;)

Today was a good day, Happy Birthday to ME!

Salary of a Nurse

Somebody once asked: "Are you a nurse?!? I wanted to be a nurse when I was a kid. How much do you make?"
The nurse replied: "HOW MUCH DO I MAKE?"

Well.......
I can make holding your hand seem like the most important thing in the world when you're scared.
I can make your child breathe when they stop.
I can help your father survive a heart attack.
I can make myself get up at 5AM....... to make sure your mother has the medicine she needs to live.
I work all day to save the lives of strangers.
I make my family wait for dinner until I know your family member is taken cared of.
I make myself skip lunch so that I can make sure that everything I did for your wife today is charted.
I make myself work weekends and holidays because people don't just get sick Monday thru Friday.
Today, I might save your life.

So, how much do I make???

I make a difference.

ponchos, flashlights, and kids.....oh my!

It’s noon on Sunday, and I am currently packing to chaperone Naty’s fifth-grade class trip to Sky Ranch. We leave tomorrow morning for a 3day/2 night camping and learning adventure. Naty is so excited, and I am too! I am normally an over-packer, and it makes it even tougher trying to anticipate odd things the kids might need during the trip. So far I have garbage bags, ponchos, wipes, hand sanitizer, Band-Aids, sunscreen, pens, plastic bags in case clothes get wet somehow ……I’m still thinking. I always feel like I will forget to pack something.
The first thing that I packed was my travel coffee mug, we were told in our chaperone meeting that they would have caffeine available...all day long. YEAH!
I am one of twenty chaperones going with the class so we’re only responsible for about five kids each but you still feel stress taking care of someone else’s child while trying to keep drama under control and make sure everyone has a great time. This will be an adventure for us both.
I’ve chaperoned this camping trip when Sydney was in fifth grade too. We had a lot of fun: fishing, smore making, zip-lining, and hiking. It’s definitely an activity filled three days. It’s a great way to spend a few days with your classmates before starting middle school and veering in different directions.
I am glad that schools still think it’s important to allocate funds to take the kids on this type of overnight trip. It’s something Texas fifth graders look forward to all of their elementary years, they all feel like BIG stuff, and I know they will learn a lot and make great memories.

My NCLEX experience

I won’t write about the days leading up to NCLEX as they can be described in one word: INSANE.
So, I arrived early to the testing facility. When I arrived on the eighth floor, the door to the testing center was locked and had a sign that said please wait for a representative to open the doors at 7:25.
I immediately starting speaking to another person waiting to take her exam. She was taking a pharmacy tech exam and was also just as nervous as I was. Except when I am nervous, I can’t stop talking…and because I left my phone in the car, this poor pharmacy girl was my victim. I learned many things about her: where she lived, went to school, kids, everything…….but, should have known by her short answers that I maybe I should maybe leave her alone…..I didn’t.
I was trying to get my mind at ease before they opened the doors to the testing center and this poor girl amused me.
Finally 7:30am the doors opened and we were asked to get a number and wait for our number to be called. I jumped at number 1, I can’t wait any longer than I already have to. There was a lady seated attentively and upright behind a desk. She looked up at me as I entered and sat. After I'd arranged myself in the chair, she called ‘number one please”.
Yes, I explained, that’s me.
She asked me what exam I was here to take, and I felt the tears welling up as I said, I am here to take my NCLEX exam.
"Your authorization to test and ID, please."
"Empty your pockets, take off your watch, and leave everything in this basket, grab a locker and keep the locker key with you. Please take this paper and read it. I will call you in a few minutes."
She was a very formal business woman, whose tone was as crisp as her pristine ironed shirt.
I sat and tried to read the paper regarding NCLEX exam policies and violations when I touched the cross pendant on my necklace (to say a little prayer) and my necklace broke. As I held the small crucifix in my hand I thought to myself - oh no, this is not a good sign. I’ve never worn this necklace before and the cross pendant was a graduation gift also not worn yet. I asked and was told that I was not allowed to carry my necklace in my pocket, I had to lock it up with the rest of my things (which consisted of a water bottle and set of keys), so I did.
When the woman was ready for me, I had to sign my name, let her finger print me, scan my palm 5 times, get my photo taken, sign my name again, lock up my things, on and on and on. Finally she gathered my papers, scanned my finger one last time, and walked with me two steps into the hallway.
There was a woman seated in the monitoring station, watching the test takers. Though calling it a monitoring station is a kind of visual understatement. Her station looked upon so many screens. She informed me that I would be monitored at ALL times by video and speaker. Yep, they can hear you breathe as you take your exam! WOW!
She took my ID as well, scanned my fingerprint, activated my test in the computer, and escorted me inside to my terminal. I noted that I was seated at computer #8, right smack dab in the middle of the room. I guess that’s what I get for grabbing that #1 ticket.
When the test finally began, it looked exactly like the review books describe them. I didn't feel nervous at that time. I felt like I had a really good chance.
Until I got terrified…..
I felt the exam was very difficult and then it cut off at 75. What? NO! I'm not done, I need more time. I was already crying so the tears just continued to flow. I had to raise my quivering hand to inform the lady that I was finished and to be escorted out and she scanned my fingerprint and palm again so I could leave.
I cried all the way to my car, I called hubby…no answer. Called my sister…no answer. called parents…..no answer. Called friends….no answer. ughhh. I needed to vent, where is everybody?
I checked the testing website and for some strange reason, my results had posted….I PASSED!
So, I cried even more.
I called a classmate/friend and we laughed and shared stories all the way home. She made me feel so much better. Thank you, Mispa!
Oh, and my broken necklace….it was a sign….a good one. That the Lord was with me that day like I asked him to and he was going to get me through this!
Studying nursing has been good for me in so many ways, I've grown past anxieties and gained a measure of self-confidence. The changes were subtle and slow, but when I look back, I'm amazed at how far I've come.
Finding a path in life that both complements and challenges you is a gift. In this crazy world, I was lucky that my ambition in life actually worked for me. I have shaped my character and strengthened my identity. Of course, it was tedious and downright depressing.
But here I am now, with a degree and initials after my name. After all of it... after everything... I made it.

TGIF

Every Friday, no matter how hectic or stressful the week has been, my family has a tradition to celebrate the weekend’s start. I crack open a bottle of wine and we all roll up our sleeves in the kitchen. Everyone likes homemade pizza: I make/buy fresh dough for the pizza crust, and my husband chops, sautés, and grates the toppings and, the kids have fun making their own special pizzas.
On good weeks I’d make home-made sauce and we have fresh mozzarella. But, over the last year it went from rolling dough to buying premade pizza dough to getting the entire pizza delivered, hot n’ ready. But, when we then sit down to eat, either at the dining table, or on the porch, it’s our family time that matters. So, none the less, our tradition is still alive. It’s a great start to the weekend.
This little tradition of ours isn’t complex or costly, and it takes no advanced planning. It's just something we all look forward to, and it’s become a little something that says “home” to us.

I'm Pinned

I consider myself to be crafty. I am a whiz at sewing, I can paint, scrapbook, photograph, I make cards and paper crafts, I cook, bake, decorate and design......yep, I'm one crafty mom.

But, there are times when I just lose that creative juice inside of me and I sit in my craft room and am truly stumped! I don't like those moments at all. This is not supposed to happen to a crafty person, right? Well, it does! and with my busy schedule lately, I have these crazy un-crafty moments, more and more.

Well, I have a feeling things may be a little different from now on.....thanks to Pinterest.

Pinterest is my inspiration, when mine is lost. When I want to relax or enjoy some me time, I turn on my computer or pick up my phone and navigate my way to Pinterest. I browse boards to see what random people from across the world are pinning. I go through my own boards to feel inspired and see what things have caught my eye in past months.

I have boards for every aspect of my life- recipes, decorating, holiday and gift ideas, art projects to try with my littles, and even an entire board dedicated to outfits. One day I hope to have my home entirely remodeled like the pins I have on Pinterest.

I think that Pinterest will help me not lose my creative brain the next time I am pregnant. Hopefully, the boards that I have worked so hard to create will inspire me and keep my crafty mom side working despite what my busy life brings.

Time after time....

I have what I think could be considered an “obsessive personality.” I know it, I recognize it and….I it. It’s what brings out spontaneity in me, what drives me to push myself beyond the norm, it’s what gets me out of the rut that we all fall into. It’s why I started and continued house projects. It’s why I write and blog. It’s why I scrapbook. Why my house is so organized. And more importantly why I am the mother that I have become. Ever since having kids, I find time slips through my fingers faster than it ever did. 
I love and appreciate all the relationships in my life but I admit, I’m not always present to those around me. Maybe it’s part of my personality to ponder, reflect and contemplate about life. Sometimes I forget that everyday life has its own richness of taste, feel and touch. When I let myself be in touch with my kids, is when I see their imagination taking them to far-off places. They’re writing plays with their friends, talking with each other about what they’re wearing, how they’re getting to school, family vacations, and what spend their allowances on. Through plenty of trial and error, I discovered something to be managed through choosing the right priorities for myself and my family….TIME.

Time is such a valuable gift. What we do with it is a gift to those around us. When one parent works 12 hour shifts and each kid has their own activities, time together can be an issue. But, I have not let that be an excuse. I have to say that thru all these stressful months of nursing school, moving, and soccer schedules, we have managed to have dinner together every evening. I’m grateful for my family and for the time I can spend with our kids now when they’re still young. Like many wise women tell me, they’re this young only once. Treasure these moments.
 My family and spiritual life are my highest priorities. I still have dreams and aspirations, and sometimes they take me to far-off places, taking more time than I’d like. Thankfully, the people in my everyday life keep me grounded.

Foolish Pride

In the 12 years that I have been a mother, I've learned a lot about myself. I have discovered both good and bad characteristics. And while it may be hard to recognize my own flaws sometimes, it’s necessary for personal growth. How do you have a relationship with anyone, including yourself, if you cannot take responsibility for your wrong doings? This is precisely the problem I am struggle with sometimes……
I am stubborn when it comes to admitting when I'm wrong. I am the type of person that justifies my every action. After realizing this, I immediately get upset thinking about the many altercations I could have avoided if I had just apologized.
I realize that no one is perfect. No matter how much I try to be a good person and how good my intentions are, I am going to make mistakes. I need to embrace my mistakes and own up to them. I have to learn that my mistakes made me who I am today and will continue to mold me into the person I will become.
So, from this day forward, I will try my best to let go of my pride and humble myself because making errors and being in the wrong isn't necessarily a bad thing.
It, at times, can be a learning experience that can change me for the better.

Hello: My Name is ROOM MOM

Tonight was meet the teacher night at the elementary school and I must have been in a deep fog from lack of sleep or something because before I knew what I was doing…..I was trying on PTA t-shirts, signing up for parties, and writing out a check…..to volunteer my free time ALL year long!

It hit me when I was discussing cookie dough sales with anther PTA mom, that I must have been suffering from temporary insanity. It’s going to be comical to watch myself juggle working full time, taking my kids to practice, cooking dinner from scratch, helping with homework, and keeping my house clean & organized….and what about all the ME time I have been looking forward to all summer???
Oh, crap!

Unintentional Pity Party

I want to take this moment to thank everyone for your kind words, texts, and emails yesterday.
I didn't write yesterdays post to throw myself a pity party. I was just trying to blow off some steam (virtually) and be honest about the struggles I was having at the moment.
I consider myself blessed in many ways but, in no way is my life perfect, nor do I pretend it to be. Yesterday was an off day for sure. And, I think I was really more tired than anything else.
Venting gives me peace. Some days I surf blogs to see if any one else is going through whatever it is I'm dealing with at that time....and I always find someone who writes and makes me think......wow, she is totally blogging about my life right now!!!! And in a weird way, it makes me feel better to know that in certain situations, I am not alone....... then I laugh, cry, laugh (its a vicious cycle) and finally I feel better.
So, I'm hoping that yesterdays drama helped someone or at least made them laugh because I'm laughing about it now.
But to everyone who gave such kind words to me yesterday, you really made my day:)
Thank You!

Snow worth it

Weird, unacceptable things have been happening around here as of late Monday evening. After the big ice storm, schools shut down for four days. By Friday at noon, I was getting a little stir crazy.

As I pondered thru the house I couldn’t come up with any good reasons to leave the house.

The refrigerator was full of enough groceries to last thru the weekend and the news keeps showing cars stranded on the side of the road but, I wanted to get out just for a moment. Just to get a change of scenery. But, still no good reason to leave the house until…..I went to make some coffee and noticed that I was out. Now, THAT is a good reason to get out.

So, instead of fighting the crowds at the grocery store for instant coffee grounds I decided to venture out for a venti anything. I was ready to drive up to a window and let someone wait on me for a change, especially a Starbucks!

But, when I finally made it there…..I was shocked to find that they were closed! And I could not believe it.

I sat there for a moment, wondering if I should attempt another Starbucks (there is one just down the road) but I decided not to. I almost hit the grocery store when I looked over and saw the really full parking lot. Nope, I don’t do busy grocery stores. It’s one of the few things have little patience for. Instead I just headed back home. Empty handed. BIG SIGH!

As I headed down the street (at 15 mph), I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful everything looked. The sparkling sheets of white snow and the laughter of kids sledding and playing in surrounding neighborhoods filled my view and I couldn’t help but smile, especially when I reached in my purse and found a package of Starbucks VIA instant coffee……ahhh, it what worth getting out.