I have discovered, over and over, that it is
important for me not to go above and beyond the things that make me, me. Over the
years, I've tried to change, but the results have not changed.
Once a year, I decide that I'm ready to be a real, responsible, healthy adult and
it always ends terribly for me. But, I try anyway. I sit myself
down and tell myself how I'm going to do this. Schedules are drafted.
Day-planners are purchased. I stock up on fancy food because I'm
planning on converting my entire family into healthier eating habits. I put
away my daily yoga pants and pull out my nice jeans, skirts, heels and button
down shirts. Yes, I prepare for my new life like some people prepare for
the apocalypse. 
The first day or two of my plans usually goes
okay.
For a little while, I actually feel all grown-up
and healthy! I strut around with my ‘dressy’ clothes, looking everyone in
the eye with that glance that says
"look at ME, I’m dressed up and
responsible….just look at all my fancy groceries.”
At some point, I start feeling
self-congratulatory.
This is a mistake.
I begin to feel like I've accomplished my goals. I
lose a few pounds, my nails are done, my hair is perfect, and I feel really
good about myself. It's like I think a lifestyle change is something that
can be earned like a trophy in one epic burst of effort and then coveted for
the rest of my life.
What usually ends up happening is that I
completely wear myself out. Thinking that I've earned it, I give myself
permission to slack off for a while. My fancy shoes, give m blisters (oh, how I
miss my flip flops). I break out from wearing make-up everyday, and I get
really tired of cooking every night!
Is it really that bad, if I wear my holed jeans while
I run my errands? I’ll make sure to flat iron my hair and put on some lip
gloss, this is acceptable, right?
Well, I end up needing to take more recovery time than usual and this is when
it all starts….
The longer I procrastinate, put on my yoga pants,
and allow myself to drive thru Chic-fil-a for dinner, only leads to more and
more irresolution.
At some point in this endlessly spiraling
disaster, I am forced to throw all of my energy into starting over again, just
to dig myself out of the pit I've fallen into. The problem is that I start
over, already burnt out from the last round. I won’t allow myself to fail. But,I
do because it always ends the same way.
And then I rebel.
yummmm!
So, I’ve come to a new yearly resolution…..Do
more of what makes me happy, fly by the seat of my pants, and laugh more! I’ll
never fail at this one.
Happy New Year, family and friends!
