New Years Irresolution

I have discovered, over and over, that it is important for me not to go above and beyond the things that make me, me.  Over the years, I've tried to change, but the results have not changed.

Once a year, I decide that I'm ready to be a real, responsible, healthy adult and it always ends terribly for me. But, I try anyway.  I sit myself down and tell myself how I'm going to do this.  Schedules are drafted.  Day-planners are purchased.  I stock up on fancy food because I'm planning on converting my entire family into healthier eating habits. I put away my daily yoga pants and pull out my nice jeans, skirts, heels and button down shirts. Yes, I prepare for my new life like some people prepare for the apocalypse.

The first day or two of my plans usually goes okay.

For a little while, I actually feel all grown-up and healthy!  I strut around with my ‘dressy’ clothes, looking everyone in the eye with that  glance that says "look at ME, I’m dressed up and responsible….just look at all my fancy groceries.”

At some point, I start feeling self-congratulatory.

This is a mistake.  

I begin to feel like I've accomplished my goals. I lose a few pounds, my nails are done, my hair is perfect, and I feel really good about myself. It's like I think a lifestyle change is something that can be earned like a trophy in one epic burst of effort and then coveted for the rest of my life.  

What usually ends up happening is that I completely wear myself out. Thinking that I've earned it, I give myself permission to slack off for a while. My fancy shoes, give m blisters (oh, how I miss my flip flops). I break out from wearing make-up everyday, and I get really tired of cooking every night!

Is it really that bad, if I wear my holed jeans while I run my errands? I’ll make sure to flat iron my hair and put on some lip gloss, this is acceptable, right? 

Well, I end up needing to take more recovery time than usual and this is when it all starts….

The longer I procrastinate, put on my yoga pants, and allow myself to drive thru Chic-fil-a for dinner, only leads to more and more irresolution.  

At some point in this endlessly spiraling disaster, I am forced to throw all of my energy into starting over again, just to dig myself out of the pit I've fallen into. The problem is that I start over, already burnt out from the last round. I won’t allow myself to fail. But,I do because it always ends the same way.  

And then I rebel.  

yummmm!

So, I’ve come to a new yearly resolution…..Do more of what makes me happy, fly by the seat of my pants, and laugh more! I’ll never fail at this one. 

Happy New Year, family and friends! 

Just Frozen.....

Everyone is talking about the winter storm that is making it’s way to the Dallas metroplex. My morning shows have been interrupted with constant weather updates....ughhh! 

Oh, and I made the mistake and went to the store. Target was overrun with people stocking up on ice scrapers, food, movies and beer…lots of BEER. People are rushing and running thru the isles to make sure they have enough spaghettios, potato chips, Tyson nuggets, or whatever else they need to get them through the cold weekend. Hot chocolate shelves are empty and the lines were super long. It was a madhouse, reminded me of my Florida days preparing for the next big hurricane!!! But this is not a hurricane, it's ice. All I wanted was to get some salad dressing for my antipasto salad and look for a new book to read, on my only day off. Boy, did I pick the wrong day. 

School will most likely be cancelled so, the only people who should be freaking out and running around in circles are the parents facing this inevitable snow day, home with the kids!!!

Fortunately and unfortunately for me, I will be working tomorrow. I will have the opportunity to drive 10 mph all the way to work behind some really bad drivers. Talk about chaos, the roads are going to be a mess!  

People, this is north Texas, we get ice every year!And even if we give it a catchy name like “Snowpocalypse” or “Arctic Blast”, it’s still just ice and snow. RELAX and be safe. :)

Sleepless in Scrubs

I missed another school event last night…because I had to work. I rolled into my front door at 9am because I had to stop and get groceries before I could go home. If I am fortunate, I will sleep like a rock, hard and solid. But, when the kids get home from school, they will be on their own again...struggling to stay quiet so I can sleep. When I finally awaken, I will stumble through a shower and make my way downstairs. I’ll attempt to listen to my kids tell me about their day, trying to retain what they are saying. Unfortunately a lot of it goes in one ear and out the other:(

Coffee. Where’s the coffee…

My husband gets home, I tell him what he needs to know about my day: I didn’t touch the laundry, I didn’t unload the dishwasher, dinner is not ready, and the kids just started on their homework…oh, and we need more coffee. He nods, gives me a hug and out the door I go.

My drive to work consists of some kind of caffeine drinking and clearing the fog from my head. What will be in store for me tonight? A high census? Call-ins? I stress myself out before I even get to work…..

Where am I going with this: well, I write this post as a tribute to the night nurses that I have had the pleasure to work with. Although I am jokingly called a traitor for accepting a day position, I can’t help but feel a bit sad for leaving such a great group of nurses, some of whom I can call my friends.

The conversations that go on at night are unforgettable.

At night, we get the crazies, the spontaneous labors, the A.M. scheduled c-sections in labor. Everything is a surprise. We are sleepy, but we are working hard. We are overlooked, but we are faithful. We are lonely, but united. We are irritable, but knowledgeable. We are independent, but deeply depend on each other. We work in the dark, but our humors are light. Our stomachs are bloated and our bladders are full. Life goes on without us, and we go on when life settles. We function in darkness, even in the daylight. We have found ourselves driving into our driveways with no memory of ever driving home.

Night shift friends, you’ve made me laugh when I’ve been at my very worst and helped me transition into the nurse that I am. When I see you, at change of shift, please know that I am forever grateful for you. XOXO 

I can do this!!!!

I have been blessed with the ability to juggle the things in life that matter to me. Yes, it is possible to be a working mother, soccer mom, PTA mom, domestic housewife (yes, I clean my own house) and still have a social life. One of the things I struggle with most, is guilt. I think that having a job outside the home adds another layer to the guilt that every mom feels.
 I have really struggled with is finding a true mentor in my current work place - someone who I look at and think that I want to be exactly like her. In the field of nursing, that can be quite challenging but, at least I do know the type of woman that I want to be...she's not perfect, but she works hard. She is a good nurse, wife and mother. She honors the Lord in all she does and raises her kids with dignity and love. All of this comes with sacrifice.
I find it quite comical that people often approach me and ask me ‘how I do it all?’ I find it funny because a lot of people see the ‘calm, cool, collected’ me that has it all together when it comes to balancing motherhood and being a somewhat workaholic. How can people think that I do this so easily? Only my husband sees some of the frantic episodes that occur more frequently than you think. So I'm going to burst your bubble...I can’t always ‘do it all’, but instead I have found what works for me. Fulfilling my dreams to become a nurse came with many sacrifices. Some sacrifices were not a big deal and others were painful.
 How did I become OK with that you might ask? A lot of prayer! I am the first to admit that I can be one of the world's worst about taking things into my own hands instead of waiting for God's direction. I recently had one of these times...I leaned heavily on my own abilities and ended up frustrated. I did finally come to a point where I came on my knees to God, asking for his path for my life. I'll admit that the answer I got wasn't exactly what I expected, but God granted me with a true peace about it.
So when you see me working double shifts, getting up for boot camp at 0500am, volunteering at the kids school and rushing home to have dinner with my family…know that I am grateful for every minute of it.

How To Be Cool In A Minivan

It wasn’t until I traded in my minivan for the big SUV that I kept hearing people say….they will never, ever drive a minivan. Secretly, it was the single best decision we’ve made since the birth of our three children. Well crap, after 10 minivan driving years, I felt the same way and upgraded to a large SUV but, sad to say that I miss it.
Before the big SUV: there I was, lined up in the school parking lot, alarms going off, automatic doors opening … anything I could do to locate my silver dodge caravan in a line of 20 others just like it. But I loved it. The convenience, the leg room and all the ‘happy’ kid features.

When I had my van, it’s true…I felt like such a “MOM” but I was proud of that. My kiddos needed the room for all their sports equipment, folding chairs, and many different toys. I can’t even tell you how much I miss the trunk that keeps groceries from rolling all over the back seat. It could be the next best thing to sleeping in late or getting all the laundry done.

I realized that it is NOT the minivan itself rather than some of us mommy-van drivers that have given it such a bad name.
So, in honor of my minivan and other minivan mommys out there, I have come up with some things, that can help the ‘coolness’ of the minivan come back.
1. Get a sunroof, if you can. They automatically make the van more appealing….at least for the driver. 2. A van, car, SUV…whatever….please stop putting stickers on the car, including “My kid is an honor roll student,” the acronym stickers with black letters on the white oval to indicate your favorite beach or school, or the sport stickers—including, but not limited to the ones that look like a ball has broken your window and you chose to leave it there.
3. Keep your van clean, nothing is worse than opening that sliding door and having juice cups, snacks and toys fall out…yep I’m guilty of that one.
4. Under no circumstances is it ok to sing and dance to loud music in the van…so not cool. I’m guilty of that one too! Heehee
5. Do anything you can to have date night with your husband, or a girls’ night with friends, and NOT drive the van. Your cool factor goes right out the window when you step out of the minivan with your new hairdo and high heels.

That being said, it doesn’t matter what you drive. Any car can be cool if you want it to be. A minivan is a minivan no matter how often they change the body style or come out with new colors….and if you ever have the chance to own one, you would see why they are sooo cool!

Decaffeinated

I had a long list of things that I was giving up for Lent this year. Amongst those few things were coffee, coke, and wine. With the headaches that I suffered in the beginning and those everlasting days, I somehow managed to wean myself off of caffeine.....for good.

I never thought the day existed that I would ever pass up a cup of coffee or a glass of wine.

Are you kidding me??? This is ridiculous.

Mike has been off of caffeine for almost two years now and he says that it is the best thing that he has ever done. He was my biggest support during this time, he kept me well supplied with headache medication, massages, and would not let me give in.

So, after I discovered that coffee was no longer a yummy drink, I went out and bought myself a Starbucks latte (because we all know that those lattes are irresistible) and still, YUCK!

I am amazed that this has happened. But, in a way, I am impressed that I have been able to do without it for all this time and that I feel good, very healthy. wow, and just think of the money that I will save by not going to Starbucks all the time.

I've decided to home school

I was informed a few of months ago that my sweet young son was struggling with reading.  After meeting with his teacher, and hearing her recommendations, I held it all together, smiled, and left.

The closer I got to the car…the tears filled my eyes and I completely lost it when I closed the car door. My little boy…..struggling…WHY? HOW? His older sisters are series book readers and have never been behind in any subject. Where did I go wrong with him? Was it because we moved schools? Was it because I went to nursing school? I felt a lot of guilt, and at that very moment I decided that I needed to do something. And I did.

I ordered home school materials and talked to all my friends. In just a few weeks of working with him, he improved so much! I won't lie and say that it was easy (for me) but, I CAN do this, I WILL do this, for my kids. Ethan is now reading chapter books and testing two grade levels higher in math (at times I feel like he is teaching me math…LOL!).

I’m not sure if the one-to-one instruction is just what he needed or if he is not getting the help that he needs at school but, whatever it is....it's working. 

I have enjoyed our teaching times and am considering to home school all the kids next year.  It will be a challenge but, I am looking forward to it. 

No meat, no problem

Over the years of celebrating the Lenten season, I have found ways to be creative with Friday night dinners.
At first, the thought of not eating meat was crazy.....how was I supposed to make dinner without meat? let alone all meals of the day and keep my kids satisfied.
But, I think I have mastered it.
My kids have remembered not to eat meat all on their own and they look forward to some creative but, very common meals such as pancakes, vegetable lasagna, and shrimp kabobs.
One of our favorite Friday night dinners is plain ole' cheese pizza. Although, pizza is already a Friday night tradition it is nice to see my family happily give up pepperoni and sausage. The kids have even picked it off their pizza at school.
Pinterest has been wonderful this year with helping me plan some of these meals that it has become a regular Friday occurrence.

Something that I thought was so difficult has become a great experience.

40 days and 40 nights.....

Lent is a special time when you can share the concepts of prayer and giving with everyone around you. Taking time each day to offer devotional prayers, helping others in need by giving of your time or resources. Even as young children, my kids have enjoyed participating in this process.
As a mother, I carve out time in my busy day for special prayer time and recalling on lessons learned.
Some things that I have done differently for Lent are suggestions I have gotten from Dr Marcellino D’Ambrosio, Catholic theologian and speaker. He has come up with many great ideas for making the most out of the Lenten season.
He says:
Spend some focused time with your spouse, strengthening your marriage.
Start praying together, or make praying together a more frequent occurrence.
Spend some focused time together with each of your children. Take time to listen. Pray and maybe even have fun.
When Easter comes, don’t drop the new practice you’ve begun during the Season Lent!
Make a permanent feature of a deeper Christian life!
Family values are a big part of the Tubiolo house and with every passing year, I can see where our faith and family has grown stronger.

Big House......Clean House

I was always one of those people that said "the bigger the house, the more to clean" but, I was wrong.
A year and a half ago, our family moved, again. I never would have imagined having a 3,000+ square foot house for half the price of what we sold our 1,700sf, 15 year old fixer upper in Fla. so, six years ago, we jumped at the opportunity to get the biggest house we could find. HUGE mistake.
So, we moved……but, somehow I managed to gain two extra bathrooms, an extra bedroom, and an enormous yard. Although, the neighborhood, schools, yard, and front porch was just what we were looking for, one problem still remained…..How am I going to keep this house clean?
While I love the idea of a clean house, I’d rather spend the day sewing, chatting on Facebook or searching Pinterst than start cleaning my bathrooms……all five of them!
So, how did I do it???

I made myself a schedule.....Daily, Weekly, and Monthly.

Daily:
Morning:
Laundry
Make beds
Dishes
Vacuum

Evening:
Wipe down counters/toilets in bathrooms
Dishes/Counters/Kitchen table/Stove
Vacuum/sweep & mop floors
Put away toys, mail, etc.
Dining room table cleared and cleaned

Weekly (i try to spend less than an hour on these)
Monday: living room/play room clean and dust
Tuesday: run errands/grocery shopping, de clutter pantry
Wednesday: Kitchen: clean oven, microwave, fridge
Thursday: clean bathrooms/ showers/bedrooms/closets
Fridays: Catch up on any chores not done
Saturday: Clean out purse and car/plan my coupon and grocery lists

Monthly:
Dust blinds
Wash windows
Yard work
Baseboards
Reorganize closets

I am somewhat of a natural housekeeper anyway, but I have three active children and a nursing career, and I refuse to spend my days cleaning. There are lots of great advice out there and I was determined to be one of those moms that could keep a clean house in less than an hour a day. I’ve read books and taken suggestions from Pinterest to get myself to a happy medium and decided to see how much I could get done in 60 min. It was a struggle in the beginning. I was so happy today, to be getting it done before the timer went off.
I do have to give credit where credit is due: I say a prayer daily to keep me focused on being a good mom and housekeeper. And I can’t do it without the constant help from my wonderful husband and children for helping me daily by picking up after themselves.

Getting My Craft On

Although, I started planning Valentines Day projects in January….here I am procrastinating on the night before the big Valentines party at school.
I spent numerous trips to the craft store and many hours on Pinterest looking for cool ideas.
Here is a recap of my crafty valentine’s.

Here, I made a custom wrapper, using Stampin' Up Unfrogettable stamp set, to cover a teachers favorite candy bar:

I used a blender pen with old olive, pixie pink, and chocolate chip Stampin' Up ink to decorate the frog. When I was finished, I cut out each item and glued googly eyes to add character.

For another teacher, a fellow Starbucks addict (like myself) I got a Starbucks gift card and a 'buy one get one free' coupon that the baristas were handing out. She also loves junior mints so, I filled a valentines treat bag with junior mints and included an 'I Dig You' valentine tag.

I found these cute magnet guitar valentines at the store and picked up some small pop rocks candy at the party store. I think they look so cute!

My biggest challenge was making Ethan's valentine box.

He wanted a Florida Gator football themed one and I hunted down all these items to make it for him. I found mod podge, football beads, alligators, UF fabric, football field and grass scrapbook paper at Joanne's fabric store. I found football the cake toppers at Party City to make this box.

Here is his completed Valentine box and he loves it.

Thirty Five

Today I turn 35!
I wanted to forget that it was my birthday. At this crazy time of year, when starting New Years resolutions and doing our taxes, it’s easy to forget but, sadly I was reminded when I rolled out of bed with a sore back and tension headache.
So, I did what any other ‘feeling old’ person would do…I put on a cute outfit (which included heels) and went out for the day. Ok, so it was just to the grocery store but, regardless, it was out! And I looked cute! I had to make sure to get a bottle of wine and some Motrin for my now throbbing feet.
Throughout the day, I did what I always do on my birthday…..talked to mom, got a haircut, bought something for myself, and tried to relax. And, I did.
It made me look back at the last few years of my life that have been such a roller coaster ride. My last big birthday was when I turned thirty. I had just moved to Texas and flew home (to Florida) to spend the big 3-0 with my family and some really good friends because I remember being homesick. I was new to Texas and although adjusting well, I didn’t know many people.
WOW! How things have changed in five short years:
Since then I have adjusted to Texas weather, learned to like boots and talk slow, became a fan of sweet iced tea, met some really nice people, became an RN, started my youngest in school, and finally found a nice neighborhood to really make this my happy home.
So, as I accept this age gracefully, I look at another year of accomplishments, blessed with new and exciting things. I’m happy to be 35 and I’m in good company too: Rachel McAdams, Reese Witherspoon, and Ryan Reynolds are all here with me ;)

Today was a good day, Happy Birthday to ME!

Salary of a Nurse

Somebody once asked: "Are you a nurse?!? I wanted to be a nurse when I was a kid. How much do you make?"
The nurse replied: "HOW MUCH DO I MAKE?"

Well.......
I can make holding your hand seem like the most important thing in the world when you're scared.
I can make your child breathe when they stop.
I can help your father survive a heart attack.
I can make myself get up at 5AM....... to make sure your mother has the medicine she needs to live.
I work all day to save the lives of strangers.
I make my family wait for dinner until I know your family member is taken cared of.
I make myself skip lunch so that I can make sure that everything I did for your wife today is charted.
I make myself work weekends and holidays because people don't just get sick Monday thru Friday.
Today, I might save your life.

So, how much do I make???

I make a difference.

ponchos, flashlights, and kids.....oh my!

It’s noon on Sunday, and I am currently packing to chaperone Naty’s fifth-grade class trip to Sky Ranch. We leave tomorrow morning for a 3day/2 night camping and learning adventure. Naty is so excited, and I am too! I am normally an over-packer, and it makes it even tougher trying to anticipate odd things the kids might need during the trip. So far I have garbage bags, ponchos, wipes, hand sanitizer, Band-Aids, sunscreen, pens, plastic bags in case clothes get wet somehow ……I’m still thinking. I always feel like I will forget to pack something.
The first thing that I packed was my travel coffee mug, we were told in our chaperone meeting that they would have caffeine available...all day long. YEAH!
I am one of twenty chaperones going with the class so we’re only responsible for about five kids each but you still feel stress taking care of someone else’s child while trying to keep drama under control and make sure everyone has a great time. This will be an adventure for us both.
I’ve chaperoned this camping trip when Sydney was in fifth grade too. We had a lot of fun: fishing, smore making, zip-lining, and hiking. It’s definitely an activity filled three days. It’s a great way to spend a few days with your classmates before starting middle school and veering in different directions.
I am glad that schools still think it’s important to allocate funds to take the kids on this type of overnight trip. It’s something Texas fifth graders look forward to all of their elementary years, they all feel like BIG stuff, and I know they will learn a lot and make great memories.

My NCLEX experience

I won’t write about the days leading up to NCLEX as they can be described in one word: INSANE.
So, I arrived early to the testing facility. When I arrived on the eighth floor, the door to the testing center was locked and had a sign that said please wait for a representative to open the doors at 7:25.
I immediately starting speaking to another person waiting to take her exam. She was taking a pharmacy tech exam and was also just as nervous as I was. Except when I am nervous, I can’t stop talking…and because I left my phone in the car, this poor pharmacy girl was my victim. I learned many things about her: where she lived, went to school, kids, everything…….but, should have known by her short answers that I maybe I should maybe leave her alone…..I didn’t.
I was trying to get my mind at ease before they opened the doors to the testing center and this poor girl amused me.
Finally 7:30am the doors opened and we were asked to get a number and wait for our number to be called. I jumped at number 1, I can’t wait any longer than I already have to. There was a lady seated attentively and upright behind a desk. She looked up at me as I entered and sat. After I'd arranged myself in the chair, she called ‘number one please”.
Yes, I explained, that’s me.
She asked me what exam I was here to take, and I felt the tears welling up as I said, I am here to take my NCLEX exam.
"Your authorization to test and ID, please."
"Empty your pockets, take off your watch, and leave everything in this basket, grab a locker and keep the locker key with you. Please take this paper and read it. I will call you in a few minutes."
She was a very formal business woman, whose tone was as crisp as her pristine ironed shirt.
I sat and tried to read the paper regarding NCLEX exam policies and violations when I touched the cross pendant on my necklace (to say a little prayer) and my necklace broke. As I held the small crucifix in my hand I thought to myself - oh no, this is not a good sign. I’ve never worn this necklace before and the cross pendant was a graduation gift also not worn yet. I asked and was told that I was not allowed to carry my necklace in my pocket, I had to lock it up with the rest of my things (which consisted of a water bottle and set of keys), so I did.
When the woman was ready for me, I had to sign my name, let her finger print me, scan my palm 5 times, get my photo taken, sign my name again, lock up my things, on and on and on. Finally she gathered my papers, scanned my finger one last time, and walked with me two steps into the hallway.
There was a woman seated in the monitoring station, watching the test takers. Though calling it a monitoring station is a kind of visual understatement. Her station looked upon so many screens. She informed me that I would be monitored at ALL times by video and speaker. Yep, they can hear you breathe as you take your exam! WOW!
She took my ID as well, scanned my fingerprint, activated my test in the computer, and escorted me inside to my terminal. I noted that I was seated at computer #8, right smack dab in the middle of the room. I guess that’s what I get for grabbing that #1 ticket.
When the test finally began, it looked exactly like the review books describe them. I didn't feel nervous at that time. I felt like I had a really good chance.
Until I got terrified…..
I felt the exam was very difficult and then it cut off at 75. What? NO! I'm not done, I need more time. I was already crying so the tears just continued to flow. I had to raise my quivering hand to inform the lady that I was finished and to be escorted out and she scanned my fingerprint and palm again so I could leave.
I cried all the way to my car, I called hubby…no answer. Called my sister…no answer. called parents…..no answer. Called friends….no answer. ughhh. I needed to vent, where is everybody?
I checked the testing website and for some strange reason, my results had posted….I PASSED!
So, I cried even more.
I called a classmate/friend and we laughed and shared stories all the way home. She made me feel so much better. Thank you, Mispa!
Oh, and my broken necklace….it was a sign….a good one. That the Lord was with me that day like I asked him to and he was going to get me through this!
Studying nursing has been good for me in so many ways, I've grown past anxieties and gained a measure of self-confidence. The changes were subtle and slow, but when I look back, I'm amazed at how far I've come.
Finding a path in life that both complements and challenges you is a gift. In this crazy world, I was lucky that my ambition in life actually worked for me. I have shaped my character and strengthened my identity. Of course, it was tedious and downright depressing.
But here I am now, with a degree and initials after my name. After all of it... after everything... I made it.

TGIF

Every Friday, no matter how hectic or stressful the week has been, my family has a tradition to celebrate the weekend’s start. I crack open a bottle of wine and we all roll up our sleeves in the kitchen. Everyone likes homemade pizza: I make/buy fresh dough for the pizza crust, and my husband chops, sautés, and grates the toppings and, the kids have fun making their own special pizzas.
On good weeks I’d make home-made sauce and we have fresh mozzarella. But, over the last year it went from rolling dough to buying premade pizza dough to getting the entire pizza delivered, hot n’ ready. But, when we then sit down to eat, either at the dining table, or on the porch, it’s our family time that matters. So, none the less, our tradition is still alive. It’s a great start to the weekend.
This little tradition of ours isn’t complex or costly, and it takes no advanced planning. It's just something we all look forward to, and it’s become a little something that says “home” to us.

Candy Corn Cookies

I found this recipe for these super cute cookies.
I'm planning on making them for our Halloween party.
Hope you enjoy the recipe!

1 pouch (1 lb 1.5 oz) Betty Crocker® sugar cookie mix
1/3 cup butter or margarine, melted
1 egg
Orange paste food color
2 oz semisweet chocolate, melted, cooled

1. Line 8x4-inch loaf pan with waxed paper, extending paper over sides of pan. In medium bowl, stir cookie mix, butter and egg until soft dough forms.
2. On work surface, place 3/4 cup dough. Knead desired amount of food color into dough until color is uniform. Press dough evenly in bottom of pan.
3. Divide remaining dough in half. Gently press one half of remaining dough into pan on top of orange dough. On work surface, knead chocolate into remaining dough until color is uniform. Press over plain dough in pan, pressing gently to edge of pan. Refrigerate 1 1/2 to 2 hours or until firm.
4. Heat oven to 375°F. Remove dough from pan. Cut crosswise into 1/4-inch-thick slices. Cut each slice into 5 wedges. On ungreased cookie sheet, place wedges 1 inch apart.
5. Bake 7 to 9 minutes or until cookies are set and edges are very light golden brown. Cool 1 minute; remove from cookie sheet. Cool completely. Store in tightly covered container.
Makes About 9 1/2 dozen cookies

My cup runneth over

I am overwhelmed with emotions right now and I am going to attempt to put them into words so, here goes......

Yesterday, we felt the wonderful effects of a cold front that is traveling thru the north. And in the midst of the wonderful weather; last night my husband, kids, and friends hosted a congratulatory celebration in our neighborhood park for me. It was so nice to drive through my neighborhood and see people just casually enjoying the beautiful evening and also giving me hugs, presents, and congratulations. It is wonderful to know that I am surrounded by such caring people.

I didn't say very much because I knew I would cry. But I want to share what I wanted to say last night:

The last year has been the most difficult year of my life. At a time in my life when my cup seems to have so many holes in it, people around me just kept coming forward and pouring and pouring to fill it back up, when I felt at a loss. There were so many times that I wondered why I was in school so late in life. I know that it was my decision to start a family early and although I really enjoy being a mother, I felt the need to accomplish my life long goal of becoming a nurse. And I have painfully missed soccer games, school activities and birthday parties that I can never take back. Ours lives are filled with so many hard decisions these days. The emotional weight of it all has been wearing us down, but we can keep putting one foot in front of the other because we are surrounded by such loving friends and family.
Mike, kids, family, and friends: I have survived this year because of all of you. Thank you' doesn't seem like enough but I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

I don't know what I ever did to be worthy of such an outpouring of affection but it sustains me.

Thank you.

Hello: My Name is ROOM MOM

Tonight was meet the teacher night at the elementary school and I must have been in a deep fog from lack of sleep or something because before I knew what I was doing…..I was trying on PTA t-shirts, signing up for parties, and writing out a check…..to volunteer my free time ALL year long!

It hit me when I was discussing cookie dough sales with anther PTA mom, that I must have been suffering from temporary insanity. It’s going to be comical to watch myself juggle working full time, taking my kids to practice, cooking dinner from scratch, helping with homework, and keeping my house clean & organized….and what about all the ME time I have been looking forward to all summer???
Oh, crap!

A letter for my kids: an apology

Dear Sydney, Naty, & Ethan,
Yes, I could have continued to just ‘stay at home’ but this family has one thing that many families don't: the eagerness to accomplish anything we set our minds to. When I got accepted into nursing school, love & support is the very least that I received from you all. This last year has been full of sacrifices from everyone around me, mostly you. At times I felt as though I was the only one going through the rocky times so, I just want you to know that I take full responsibility for the bumps in the road and promise to get things back t normal (if there is such a thing!)
I’m sorry for the mornings I wasn’t there to make your lunch and kiss you goodbye in front of the school. I’m sorry for the dinner plans that rotated around McDonalds or Chik-fil-a. I’m sorry for the mornings you woke me up instead of the other way around. I’m sorry for the last-minute book reports and projects that were forgotten. I’m sorry for the field trips and competitions and sports days that I wasn’t there to be a part of and to cheer you on. I’m sorry for the cupcakes I couldn’t bring, the cookies I didn’t bake and the class parties I couldn’t make. I’m sorry for the times I bought gifts to keep you busy instead of spending the time with you that I should have. I’m sorry for the times I yelled or snapped at you for minor things. I’m sorry that I projected my anger and frustration onto you way too many times. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the mother I should have been over these past months, that I had to focus so much of my attention school and exams. I hope you know that although it might have felt differently, I love you all more than anything in the world. I am thankful every day for the privilege of being your mother and I could not have gotten more perfect children. I pray that someday you will understand what happened during this time and that you will be forgiving of the many upsets and mistakes that were made. Mostly, I just pray that you always know how much you are loved.
I will make it up to you, that I can promise you.
Love,
Mommy, RN