Domestically Challenged

I’m going to let you in on a secret. Well, not a secret, more like I’m going to vent about a few things. You are my good friends, people I enjoy sharing with, and I know you will not judge.

Sometimes I struggle with not feeling like I'm good enough. I know I am a wonderful mother, with great kids, and I couldn’t get a more supportive and loving husband. But there are moments when the kids won’t nap and then get super cranky at 6pm, the house is messy and Mike is on his way home and I feel like the day was a failure. I was a failure. I am working on this.

I try to find joy in the small victories throughout the day. The mountain of dishes are now a mere little pile! I transferred the towels to the dryer before they started to mildew! Ethan randomly snuggles with me on while I’m balancing the checkbook. I get to socialize while the kids are at soccer practice. And, dinner does not consist of take-out or nuggets and mac n’ cheese! These treasures usually over shadow any self-worth issues, unless I chose to focus on my shortcomings. Which I must stop doing!

I shock myself with how capable I really am. I know my strengths. I’ve been told my entire life I would make a good mother and that is all I ever dreamed I would be. Yes, I will soon be a nurse and it heals my soul when I help people. But I have also conquered other huge obstacles in my life I never thought I would! For example, I am able to be a mother that doesn’t lose her cool 90% of the time and I have a pretty happy home. For years I thought I could never be a mother, I didn’t think I’d be able to handle a child (let alone 3!) without yelling and screaming all of the time. But here I am! The kids are clean and sleeping peacefully. Bedtime was not a screaming death match tonight. The house is only slightly junky with only a small bit of dishes in the sink. And I have the next three days off from work so I get to do this all over again.

I can work at any job but put me as a full time stay at home mom and I am all kinds of confused. Being a mom you get (unwanted) advice from all ends of the parenting spectrum and worry that you will ruin your children for life and they won’t be “normal” like the other children at school (who have moms just as overwhelmed as me, they just fake it better).

But I am a working mother and not failing! In fact I think my children are turning out very well and I am doing it all on my own.