For The Love of Shoes

I am completely addicted to clogs. I always have been. Since, I got my first pair, in tenth grade when I was about 16-years old. I’ll never forget those clogs: soft black leather with black wooden soles. I wore them with everything!!!

I’ve owned at least one pair of clogs at all times since that first pair, whether they were Dansko, Berkinstock, or Anywears (you have to remember I’m in the health care field so, comfort is a priority).

But my addiction has been taken to a new level… recently, while I was working, one of our doctors came in wearing her normal ‘surgical colored’ scrubs and as came around the nurses station my eyes were drawn to her green python Dansko clogs. They looked spunky and fun, and she said they made her feel happy! From that moment, my nicely broken in black Dansko’s seemed so dull and boring. Comfortable, yes. Fun, no.

I decided that I needed to go see what was available. So, my next trip to the mall including browsing Nordstrom to see what clogs they had. I found a pair (well, two) that I must have. I just must.

As I shop, I rationalize why I must have them. My feet feel great in them, this is a must. Fall is rolling around and the temperature will be dropping, and I must put my flip-flops away. I must have them!!!!…..in ‘leopard.’ With rolled-up jeans and a slouchy sweater? Yep, sheer perfection.
And the ones in ‘claret’ to wear during the colder winter months are fun and festive, this is a definite must have.
SOLD!
How cute, these will fit right in with my ever-growing clog collection.

The End of A Long Summer

This morning, all of my children climbed on a school bus and for eight hours I will have total peace and quiet. I crave quiet and structure. I crave the lack of chaos.
Although, summer wasn’t as hard as I expected, I’m glad it is over. During the last couple of months we have moved…twice…and are ready to get settled and begin a great year.
We all had a fun, busy summer and survived it. So, I don’t plan on doing much today just drinking coffee, writing a little, reading a lot, and listening to the sounds of silence. I may use some time today to schedule volunteer hours at the school. Or maybe sign up for the Fall festival. I do enjoy helping the teachers, decorating the bulletin boards, stuffing folders, and making copies. Dang, there I go scheduling my free time already…and it’s barely just started…….
With all that said, I am going to enjoy my day. I don’t imagine I will get out of my pajamas. I’ll think about volunteering later….you know, when I am a little rested.

More Texas...for now

In this economy, my family has been through many life changing situations (as many, I’m sure). Our most recent condition has been the one to move back home. Unfortunately, Florida’s economy is still suffering and although being a nurse allows me the opportunity to live anywhere that I choose, my fire fighter hubby is not fortunate to have the same.

So, after much debate and soul searching, we decided to stay in Texas (for now).

I’m at peace with this decision because I was finding it very hard to say goodbye to all my Texas friends. My family has been blessed to make many friends in our short four years of living here. Not just great friends but, the ones that we consider family.

So, for now, we will stay put. With that decision, Mike and I started looking for another home and I think we found one. It is a cute little American traditional home in a cute ‘arts & craft’ style neighborhood. In my four years of living here, I have never even heard of it so when I stumbled across it…I fell in love. These houses all have a front porch of some sort and are not covered by the traditional Texas brick and stone, they are each painted differently to give their own unique charm. There are no current houses for sale in this neighborhood but after some snooping around this is what I found:

· Houses in this neighborhood don’t go on the market often.

· When they do, they sell really fast.

· This neighborhood is full of young families like mine, with kids that are my kids ages.

· These houses are not zero lot line, so you get more yard….I never thought this was a possibility here!

· The amenities are wonderful!

· ONE house is being foreclosed on. It has the biggest lot of the neighborhood and sits directly across from the park on a pie shaped, ¼ acre lot.

· I WANT THIS HOUSE!!!!

Foreclosures can take a while so we will have to wait and see what happens.

I Have It All

I was recently driving home with my husband next to me in the passenger seat and my kids in the back. It was about 10pm, the kids were all sleeping. It was peaceful. As I was driving and thinking about my life, my marriage, and my family. I realized something amazing, I want nothing more. I don't need anything else. I have it all. I husband I adore, kids that are happy and healthy, a great family, a growing career, and good friends. It is a wild and freeing realization. Liberating. I am content. Truly content.

Back To School

I must admit I get excited about the notion of shopping for school supplies. It takes me back to the days when my mom would take us shopping in my small hometown. We’d stroll through aisles of neatly stacked workbooks and the whole place smelled of paper and pencil shavings and pristine erasers and held the promise of new beginnings, new friends to make, new things to learn, and new ways to avoid eating cafeteria food.

There was only one store we would go to but back to school shopping is just not that simple any more. Last year I hit three super stores, two pharmacies, and four office supply stores in search of every last item on the list. By the time we made it to the checkout line at each store I found myself flustered at the shortage of Fiskars scissors or 10 cent glue sticks. After getting completely burned out on shopping for school supplies last year, somehow I managed to miss the end-of-the year sign up for pre-packaged school supply packs. Seriously, is there a worse time to send out announcements than May when you’ve already OD’d on field trip forms, permission slips, and other announcements related to end of school year festivities? Besides, I really think that back to school shopping is a tradition, one that marks the end of summer and the start of new beginnings.

Take it from me, shopping for school supplies is not as memorable as you recall from your own childhood but, I still can't bring myself to buy the pre-paid packages. That takes all the fun out of this frustrating but fun shopping experience.

So not a Stepford wife

Even though I have lots of days where I might not feel like it, this is the best time of my life. I have really hard days though. Days were the morning starts too early and I stumble around in my pjs all morning long. Days where I want to take that smiling housewife with pearls and heels and stab her with her unscratched stilettos. Cause that is not me. My floors are sticky my sink is full of dishes. Reality is I would much rather take the kids to the park and the library or play dress up and make cookies then wash dishes and sweep the floor. I do this and little by little the housework piles up.

I am not a ‘full time’ mom, but I am home 5 days a week with the kids. In essence I am a stay at home mom most of the time. For some reason, I have come up with this ridiculous ideal stay-at-home-mom in my head that I strive to be like. I love the idea of being the perfect mom and wife, like in Stepford, but who am I kidding???? They were robots!!!! I did notice that my entire demeanor and attitude change when I am not in scrubs and my hair all fixed versus if I just stay in my greasy hair and ratty clothes to run errands.

We all have frumpy days. Days where our energy levels are zapped, the house is atrocious and you feel overwhelmed. I call these frozen dinner days because you just want to stay home and do as little as possible. But this should NOT be the norm. More stressed? Certainly! Sleep deprived? Undoubtedly! I am plan Jane but, if I just wash my hair and wear something other than workout clothes (2 very easy goals to achieve) I think my household moral will improve! But as I said earlier, these are the best years of my life!!!!!

Domestically Challenged

I’m going to let you in on a secret. Well, not a secret, more like I’m going to vent about a few things. You are my good friends, people I enjoy sharing with, and I know you will not judge.

Sometimes I struggle with not feeling like I'm good enough. I know I am a wonderful mother, with great kids, and I couldn’t get a more supportive and loving husband. But there are moments when the kids won’t nap and then get super cranky at 6pm, the house is messy and Mike is on his way home and I feel like the day was a failure. I was a failure. I am working on this.

I try to find joy in the small victories throughout the day. The mountain of dishes are now a mere little pile! I transferred the towels to the dryer before they started to mildew! Ethan randomly snuggles with me on while I’m balancing the checkbook. I get to socialize while the kids are at soccer practice. And, dinner does not consist of take-out or nuggets and mac n’ cheese! These treasures usually over shadow any self-worth issues, unless I chose to focus on my shortcomings. Which I must stop doing!

I shock myself with how capable I really am. I know my strengths. I’ve been told my entire life I would make a good mother and that is all I ever dreamed I would be. Yes, I will soon be a nurse and it heals my soul when I help people. But I have also conquered other huge obstacles in my life I never thought I would! For example, I am able to be a mother that doesn’t lose her cool 90% of the time and I have a pretty happy home. For years I thought I could never be a mother, I didn’t think I’d be able to handle a child (let alone 3!) without yelling and screaming all of the time. But here I am! The kids are clean and sleeping peacefully. Bedtime was not a screaming death match tonight. The house is only slightly junky with only a small bit of dishes in the sink. And I have the next three days off from work so I get to do this all over again.

I can work at any job but put me as a full time stay at home mom and I am all kinds of confused. Being a mom you get (unwanted) advice from all ends of the parenting spectrum and worry that you will ruin your children for life and they won’t be “normal” like the other children at school (who have moms just as overwhelmed as me, they just fake it better).

But I am a working mother and not failing! In fact I think my children are turning out very well and I am doing it all on my own.