10 TyPes Of FriEndS & THinGs

I was recently talking to a few friends from High School on FB about how when we were teenagers we had different types of friends than we do today.
Today, I have the kind of friends that I go on double dates with, go shopping with (even dreaded bathing suit shopping trips!), have wine with whine nights, have dinner with in our PJ's, and are just REAL good friends. You ladies know who you are and I heart you all for being you....see you at wine night ;).

But today's blog is for my fellow thirty-something year old and teen readers, enjoy the walk down memory lane and see if you recognize someone from your life on this list. For my parent readers, knowing these types of kids can help you identify the kind of kids your child hangs out with. I have seen it in some elementary school students already!!!
1) Hanger-Oner
I had one of these in middle school. Remember the Hanger-Oner? That kid who just would not leave you alone. They dressed like you and showed up everywhere you went. I mean, they were nice, and you liked them, but it’s called
b-r-e-a-t-h-i-n-g r-o-o-m.
2) Frenemy
Maybe this is more of a girl thing than a guy thing, but there were definitely those people in High School who pretended to be your friend, and you pretended to like them, but in reality, you didn’t.
3) The I'm-Cooler-Than-You Friend
I had a few friends like this and I seriously wonder why. Although they were cool, smart, and funny they were always trying to impress everyone. Yes, we were friends, and I am grateful, but they always wanted people to live up to their expectations and coolness factor....whatever!
4) Make-Me-Feel-Good-About-Myself-Friend
Ahh, they are the best! In High School, and even now, everyone has to have a friend they can go to when they need to feel better about themselves. Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on every now and then or just a moment to vent or blow some steam with the safety of unspoken trust and non judgemental advice.
5) Wingman or Wingwoman
This is typically a best friend, which you of course can still have later in life. The person you always went on doubles, blind dates and to dances with because we always got along well and most importantly, had totally different taste in men.
6) Homework Friend
This does not have to be someone smarter than you (or a cheater-friend), this is someone who teens all have to go to when they need to make a study guide, plan a study session or as a homework problem. Those you talked to at least once a night on the phone, usually about only school related stuff but, still a good friend.
7) Secret Bitch/Secret Bully
Very similar to frenemies in that they are nice to you in person, but are different because they don’t want to be your friend, they just want to know you enough about you to stab you in the back. Unfortunately, we all know some of those!
9) Family Friend
This friend is who your parents want you to be best friends with because the parents are best friends or you are neighbors and it would just make it easier to carpool.
10) Used-to-be-elementary-school-friend-but-don’t-really-have-anything-in-common-anymore
Oh, these are awkward. You used to climb trees together, you had a Ya-Ya Sisterhood handshake and have really cute pictures of the two of you in a bathtub together, but it just isn’t the same anymore. They are a jock and you are a bandgeek, but you still say ‘hi’ in the halls and invite each other to your birthday parties. Mom and dad will forever be asking you, “how is your old friend ___, you used to be so close!”

We will continue to meet people all the time. Some people will become friends and some won't, and I can live with that. But hey, let Facebook and Myspace serve their purpose! Go find your old frenemy or wingman and invite them for drinks. I did and guess what?.......people really can change for the better =)

I'd Rather Be Scrapbooking

I just came back from a scrapbooking crop with Nikki, Sharon and Samantha. It was a lot of fun, we spent the day scrapbooking, socializing, and working on wonderful family memories. I came in with a heavy load of albums, stickers, and many many pictures wondering why I haven't bought myself a rolling tote!!. Part of the fun today was looking back on family pictures and remembering the days that I took those pictures. I enjoyed meeting a lot of new people and got some cute scrapbook ideas from everyone. I realized today, though, that there are many new scrapbook gadgets out there that I really want. My friends and I decided that we should crop at least once a month!!!
To avid scrappers the word crop is just common scrap lingo. However, when you announce in front of non-scrappers that you are going to a “crop” they look at you like you are nuts! So what exactly is a crop?
Crops have been compared to the quilting bees of the past. Quilting bees were a social outing for women to gather and work on their quilts. Scrapbookers may not be quilting with fabric but they are weaving their families memories into storybooks that will share their life with future generations.
Some people attend crops merely for the socialization while others go to complete as many scrapbook pages as possible. I got a lot of pages done and had a fun relaxing day with a great group of friends. No matter what your intent is, you will surely benefit from a fun gathering with like minded scrapbookers!

Rain, Rain...Go Away

Yesterday was a wonderfully beautiful day. The vibrant sunlight shone down on us all and we chatted in the late afternoon. I have some really good neighbors and it was nice to enjoy the sunny afternoon with them. Today however, is a different kind of day. The sky is gray and overcast and it rained on and off. Now I sit and hear, the wind whipping all around as the sunshine tries to peek out of the passing clouds.
The kids will be the most upset because they really wanted to go swimming today, they have been waiting for the pool to open for months. Today was going to be our first pool day, so we got the rain and despite the dreariness of the day and the nature of my personality today, I feel very thankful.
You know, not a day goes by that I don’t hear some awful thing on the news or shake my head at something I heard or see. Bad stuff seems to be happening all over the place and it’s enough to make an eternal optimist really sad.
Coming back to being thankful…
The way I see it, in the long run, I am thankful for my problems. Not that I love my problems but the grass is rarely greener on the other side. So on this rainy dreary day I think I will focus on how good this year has been for me and as the rain falls and the clouds mosey along, I will just be thankful!

Big Loser

YAY! Here I thought I would only lose a few pounds, but I have lost 17 lbs instead! I don't like to admit that but I can’t even begin to contain my happiness over this! I’ve been taking baby steps with this lifestyle change. My normal approach to things is that of “all or nothing”. Meaning, I overwhelm myself with every minute detail and stress over not doing things ‘perfectly’ the first time. However, now, I find myself taking slower steps and making smaller changes.
I like being held accountable for myself. I’m always so concerned about others and worried about everyone but me. It’s nice to worry about me for a change.

Eight is Great!

Naty may have our grown my lap, but she will never outgrow my heart.

My little girl turned 8-years-old today. I sit and think back to the day she was born. It was one of the best days in my life. I remember being so scared because she was born by c-section and I just wanted to make sure she was going to be okay. When I held her for the first time, i just cried and cried. I knew she would be a sweet girl. Growing up she was the girl who made friends everywhere she went. She would always take her big sister by the hand and tell her not to be shy, "let's go say hi to those girls over there" and a new friend was made.

Naty continues to be such a great little girl so full of life and compassion, always thinking of others. In school she collects her tickets for good behavior and uses them to have special lunch with her teacher or to read to the kindergarten classes, instead of trading them in for candy or homework pass.

I wanted to cut her hair for her birthday because it is getting soooo long. She usually is always up for a new do but when I went to cut it she said "wait! is it long enough to make a wig for someone?" She was referring to locks of love, my little sister donated her hair once to them and Naty remembered. I told her I wasn't sure and she said she didn't want to cut her hair until it was long enough to donate, so we will wait another month or so.
We ended her birthday out to dinner with family and watching tv in my bed, I cherish all these memories...they are going by too fast!

Happy Birthday Naty!

The Big Ten

Since when did junior birthday parties become A-list events? Cake and candles satisfied the standard during my childhood, but these days many parents have far grander plans in mind.
For our eldest daughter, Sydney, we had a Hannah Montana Limo Rock Star Party. It's actually Naty's birthday tomorrow but, long story short...we celebrated Sydney birthday this month and will celebrate Naty's next month on Sydney's birthday weekend...yeah it's a little confusing.
The party started with ten of Sydney's friends coming over dressed as Hannah Montan or Miley Cyrus. A black stretch limo pulled onto our street and the girls screamed with excitement!!!The limo took the girls from our house to Braums where the girls each had a cone of their favorite ice cream then back to the limo for yet another limo tour around the city. The girls had so much fun hanging out the window and sunroof while singing and dancing to Hannah Montana music. The girls loved getting all the attention form passing cars and waved at everyone they saw. The limo then took the girls to the movie theatre (to watch Hannah Montana the Movie) where Sydney arrived sticking out of the sunroof. Then back home after for pizza and cake!!! I tricked Sydney with a candle on her cake that would not blow out, her friends all got a kick out of it. It was a wonderful way to celebrate but it made me realize that I have a ten year old!!! Where does the time go????? Happy Birthday Sweetheart!!!

Kindergarten Roundup

It has been another long week but I’ve made it through.Today was the last day for Kindergarten Roundup. Yup, I signed Ethan up to start Kindergarten in the fall. I can’t believe it! He is so excited to start and so ready!! We'll have 3 school-age kids and the pre-school years will be over. I don't think I've fully grasped that yet. Although I'm already celebrating not having to pay those fees anymore! And the free time I'll have...what to do with myself?! I'm sure I'll figure out something! Of course, the flip side is the small bit that is freaking out just a little that my "baby" is going to be going to school! Real school 5 days a week, not just preschool a couple of mornings a week. My babies are definitely growing up!

Putting the self back in mySELF

I think about this topic a lot. Yes, having kids changes EVERYTHING and in the most fundamental of ways.

Nearly three years ago, my husband and I moved to a city where we could be in a great school district, I changed careers so I could have more time with my kids, and the day-to-day routines of our lives revolve pretty much entirely around the kids schedules. These are big, concrete changes. But what changes even more, I think, is how I, as a parent, feel, think, evaluate, plan. But what I find ridiculous is that sometimes, as a mother, your interests, priorities, desires come second to your kids. I did it for the first few years of being a parent. I didn’t go for walks, didn’t go out with my husband, didn’t read books or go to the gym during the day. I was miserable and then finally I realized that losing myself to becoming a parent wasn’t doing anyone, including my kids, any good.
Yes, as a parent, my priorities are different, my day-to-day is different, and I worry all the time. But I make time to go for friends and adlut time, going for walks because it makes me healthy and happy, I try to find time to read and go out with my husband and pursue a demanding career that I love. I also sneak some time in for a mani/pedi, haircut, and shopping splurge every now and then. It all takes an effort and and no, I am nowhere near having enough time or energy for all things “me”, but I’m not all lost in the parenting identity either.

Work In, Work Out!

Why do so many moms want to work from home? Let me start with somewhat of a confession: I've been there done that, and I don't like it!
I've worked at home before and I loved being able to take my kids to school in the morning and then come back, make a nice cup of coffee and sit down at my computer with sun streaming through the window. I loved being able to make my favorite breakfast every day and to be able to sneak away to a yoga class in the middle of the day. I loved being able to pick up my kids from school, drive her home, and then go into the office to do more work. I loved all of this until I began to feel extremely isolated. Until even my organizational discipline began to fail and I would find myself making dinner in the middle of the day because well, I was home and I can get the crock pot started.
Until I began to despise the complete lack of separation of my work and non-work life — since my work was at home I could always be doing it, and if I weren’t doing it, I was thinking about it, my laptop luring me at all hours of the day and night. Until I realized that my favorite breakfasts were quickly followed by my favorite snacks and my favorite lunches and I was packing on some pounds. Until I became endlessly annoyed with friends and family who would call me during the day and if I didn’t pick up the phone got upset because “you’re at home, why can’t you talk?”. Until I got tired of explaining to people that just because I work from home does not mean that I don’t have a real job with real responsibilities. Until I had to leave the house every afternoon to work from coffee shops and the library because my kids playing outside became too distracting.
Yes, there are surely benefits to working from home: Flexibility, not wasting time commuting, ability to work in your pajamas on those off days when you can’t deal with getting all dressed up, and if your kids are a bit older, not having to take off when they are sick because they can watch TV while you get work done next to them. I completely appreciate those.But it’s not a perfect arrangement and telecommuting doesn’t work for everyone.
I think having the ability to work from home some of the time is a huge, huge benefit, when your kids are sick for example or when your daycare is closed or the babysitter can’t come. But my advice, learned from my own experience, is to not idealize working from home and to think very carefully about whether it’s something that will really work for you.

Staying Connected

Last month I did something I don’t do enough: Shut down the computer, put away my work, my working mom guilt, my adult separation anxiety, and meet a friend. In real life. I had to write that last bit there mostly for my own eyes to see because I think I’ve fooled myself into believing that keeping in touch with my friends mostly by email or phone is good enough.
Most of my friends are busy moms and we’re all juggling a lot. There never seems enough time to get together without the kids or to have a real conversation when we get kids together for a playdate. And so we email to keep in touch and for me this creates a false notion that you know, we’re really staying in touch.
But no amount of email — and especially not the rushed “I miss you, hope you guys are well, when can we get together?!” types of messages — can replace meeting in person, even if only for an hour. One of my friends had a great idea for us to both go walking late on a weeknight. The kids were in bed (thus minimizing my guilt), the streets were quieter, and we had adult conversation full of laughter and advice. We both agreed we need to do that more often and we do!

Mom on The Go!

It has been a super busy month and it is not slowing down. As a friend once said to me “Sonia, you’re so busy, it makes ME spin!” Yes, I am a busy body but that's strangely the way I stay organized. I usually blog at night because it helps me relax. But being that I just finished studying and need to unwind, I have nothing on my mind.
I guess tonight’s blog will be a simple update on us.

Hubby: Busy as ever working on things around the house and trying to find a place in his new job, it’s a whole new adventure but it keeps him home with me and the kids, so I can’t complain too much. He has completely remodeled the front of the house. We now have a full flower bed (minus the flowers due to this cold front!!) and shutters on the front windows. It’s amazing what he can do when he has a little time. Oh, and he has started playing on a softball team, heeheehee!! All I am going to say is man, we are out of shape!!!

Kiddos: Sydney’s 10th birthday bash is coming up and the plans are underway. We had a lunch picnic together last week at school, the weather was nice and I enjoyed watching the huge game of tag the 4th graders played, where do they get the energy???
Naty continues to have lengthy conversations on the phone with her friend, Lilly, she has definitely inherited that trait from me. I noticed today that she may have a cavity so we will have to take care of that right away. Naty also has a birthday coming up this month. I have lots of phone calls and planning to do.
Ethan is still playing soccer and continues to be very good at it, he is definatley my athletic child. But he is growing up way too fast! I am working on his paperworkfor kindergarten round up already. He is so excited about starting kindergarten but I am not. What am I going to do without a little one roaming the house? It’s too sad to even think about right now.

Me: Although life has me running in all different directions…. I’m happy, I’m healthy, and I’m here! i am trying really hard to keep everything balanced. Today I was forced to sit still for a while. The house was clean, the man was at softball practice, and it was cold outside. So what did I do? I played with the kids all day. I can’t remember the last time I played dolls, cars, video games, and colored all in the same day! We ended the weekend out to dinner with some new friends.
Our weekend was super busy but no complaints here. Now, as we move into another busy week, it starts all over. I have major couponing & grocery shopping to do, soccer practices, work, Thursdays’ ladies wine night, and Easter all coming up. I think I need to make an appointment with myself, and then maybe, just maybe I will have a day off.